Where have I been? Trying to sleep, that's where!

The universe sure knows how to show you some perspective in life. Little Lily had just passed the 6 month mark when she started waking 2-3 times a night again (that’s up from either sleeping through or waking once a night, which I had become very comfortable with thank you very much!). “What is going on?” I asked her numerous times – she'd just look at me with those big eyes and impish grin. I figured it was just a growth spurt and that was fine, I knew it wouldn’t last. But once we passed 2 months of this, I was seriously cranky and tired. Or so I thought…

Then the poor little cherub got a cold – nothing too major, just your average cold with runny nose, congestion, coughing and generally feeling a tad miserable. This is when 'tired' was redefined for me! Holy cow, poor little miss started waking CONSTANTLY throughout the night and I mean CONSTANTLY. I’d put her down, 10 minutes later, she’d be up again coughing and spluttering and this was repeated over and over again. Poor darling, I felt so sorry for her but the sleep, or lack there of, was doing my head in. We ended up sleeping semi reclined together for about a week and then back to her cot for the second week, though the waking constantly continued. Finally we are back to waking 2-3 times a night, which is now fine by me!

Perspective is a funny thing - what felt challenging before, now feels like a holiday after my dose of sleep deprivation. What I discovered is that sleep deprivation really is a form of torture! Derr, how many times have I heard that and not really understood the full meaning? The Nicky I know simply disappeared and in her place appeared a hollow-eyed ghost with a serious temper. It’s not that I was cranky at Lilybelle, it’s just that there was no buffer anymore – that buffer that allows you to bounce back easily, smile with endless patience (mostly :), maintains your good humour and keeps you on the good side of optimism – it just disappeared about 3 nights in. Suddenly I was walking around like a zombie, feeling over emotional, accident prone, unable to finish sentences, losing my train of thought and feeling like a big stinky bear with a really sore head! Not fun for anyone, as my dear partner will confirm.

So what have I learnt from this experience? Well, apart from hiring a humidifier next time (hot tip from other mums who have been through this – thanks Kel and Jodes), I have learnt to just bloody appreciate what I have right here and right now!  Because nothing ever stays the same and life can change in an instant – for better OR worse. And those tough times sure make me appreciate what I have and how blessed I am.  And the universe will ALWAYS find a way to remind me of this.

 Well into my hollow-eyed zombiedom!

Something old made new again

Having a baby can be costly, especially your first. I wouldn’t have believed how much stuff we’d need to look after our little cherub! And I was adamant that I didn’t want to go out and buy a lot of ‘stuff’ that we probably wouldn’t end up using and would just take up a lot of space that we don’t have. Lucky for us we were fortunate to have a number of friends with bubba’s a little older who were more than happy to lend or donate many essentials that we could use and it’s been wonderful!

One of these items was a cot kindly donated to us from a friend whose bub has now grown out of. It was just a simple pine cot – does the job perfectly – however was not particularly our style. So weekend project here we come!

First Justin & I gave it a light sanding over – we just put it outside under a tree and both sat on either side and had a good old chat while we worked. Was nice to catch up – doesn’t happen as often as it used to!

Then we gave it an undercoat – again, simply a side each.

Then finally, after leaving to dry for a day, we (actually Justin) finished it off with a nice shiny top coat, all in a crisp clean white. You wouldn’t believe the difference it made! Suddenly we have a gorgeous ‘new’ cot that fits in with our style and is perfect for our darling girl. Justin, being the perfectionist he is, couldn’t help but add a nice personal touch and painted Lilybelle’s name on the end. Which looks beautiful, I must say – well done lovey!

All in all, a great little project we worked on together that cost us very little and gave a beautiful result.

Cost’s –

Sanding paper – approx $10 from bunnings

Paint – approx $30 from bunnings (we used an water-based enamel paint as this is fairly eco-friendly and safe for bubba’s that doesn’t have a strong paint smell)

Brushes – approx $10 from Big W

End result – gorgeous cot and happy bub :o)

 

Before and After

 

 Cheeky Monkey aka Lilybelle Kate!

The wisdom of Kung-fu Panda

Well actually, it’s the wisdom of Master Oogway from Kung-fu Panda that I am referring to. The quote, to be specific is “Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why they call it the present”. In my mind, one of the greatest quotes I’ve ever heard.  Why? Let me tell you…

How many of us live in the present? You may think you do, just as I do, but in reality, we are more often than not somewhere else. Whether it’s thinking (again the thinking brain takes control – see past blogs for reference!) about what happened yesterday, what we need to do later today and what needs to be organised for tomorrow. Am I right? Go on, admit it! How often are we truly present, right here, right now, in this very moment? Sadly, for me, not often enough. That’s why I love this quote, beautifully articulated by Master Oogway (the wily old turtle for those of you unfamiliar with the genius of Kung-fu Panda).

What’s so fascinating about this concept of living not in the present, but in the past or the future via our mind, is that we aren’t really living in reality. Because what is not present right now is no longer or not yet real. We can create whole stories in our heads about something that has not yet even occurred and may never in fact occur, and have you noticed that we more often than not think about what might go wrong, rather than what we’d really like to happen?

This is where worrying comes in to play – we feel stressed about a certain situation – for example having enough money (or more accurately, not having enough money). I’ve found this to be quite a relevant topic for new mums because suddenly you are down to living on one income, which is a challenge at the best of times, but even harder when you’ve got a new bub and all the expenses that come with those precious bundles of joy. So we worry about how we’ll make ends meet and in doing that, imagine a whole array of scenarios that may or may not become reality. And our mind is so powerful in creating these scenes in our head that they feel real to us and we feel real emotions around them. Yet what we are worrying about is NOT REAL in this very moment! Ok confused much? I know, it’s crazy. So crazy that it hardly even makes sense when you try to make sense of it!

So to save myself from going crazy (or crazier), I repeat that quote to myself as often as I can, with particular emphasis on the last line – “today is a gift, that’s why they call it the present”. I love this line because not only does it remind me to live in the here and the now – which I believe is one of the greatest gifts I can give my daughter for free, to be available and focused on her as much as I can be – but this quote also reminds me to be grateful for each and every day. And that is a very powerful thing – to be truly grateful for every moment that we have, to feel blessed for the many wonderful things that are part of your life and to say thank you. Being grateful can change your whole life, it is that empowering, because suddenly you can feel happiness for the smallest things – a morning cup of tea, a quiet cuddle with your bub, a quick kiss shared with your partner – even amidst the most chaotic of days.

And sharing your happiness, in this very moment, with those that you love is surely a wonderful gift to give.

 A little kiss with my baby girl fills me with happiness... awwww

Mother's Intuition

I’ve always struggled to trust my intuition. I’d get a strong feeling about something, have a vivid dream or even a knee jerk reaction in response to something, yet I’d still doubt myself. Because inevitably, my mind (that is the thinking part of the brain, rather than the feeling part) would pipe up and refute these feelings with the sole intention of casting doubt. This is what the mind does – it creates havoc when you let it run your life!

A perfect example of this occurred about a month back when we had a number of wild storms here on the coast. This one particular afternoon, a storm was raging outside – wind howling, rain pouring and thunder and lightning creating a spectacular scene outside. During this storm it came to Lilybelle’s nap time. I went into her room to put her down and I got the strongest feeling that NO, it’s not safe here and to bring her out to the living room for her nap so I can see her. So I turned around and walked back into the living room and it was here that the inevitable doubt struck. “Don’t be silly” are the words I hear in my mind as I stood undecided in the living room, “you’re being an over-protective mum. She’s perfectly safe.” I stalled and then let the doubt win and turned back to put her down in her bed. Just as I was laying her down, two big branches came crashing down onto the window, right beside her bed!

So I nearly jump out of my skin! Luckily I was still holding on to her and I raced back out of the room. Thankfully no serious damage was done and both Lilybelle and I were safe. But boy was it a big lesson for me. At that moment I promised myself that I would ALWAYS trust my intuition in future, no matter how much doubt creeps in. What’s interesting is that this sense of intuition has become so much stronger since I’ve become a mum and again so since I made that promise to trust my instincts.

Of course ‘mother’s intuition’ is not a new concept, however I do find it interesting that so little emphasis is put on how important it is and what an amazing tool it is for mothering.  What I mean by this is that new mums are inundated with advice from everyone and anyone, from your next door neighbour to qualified health professionals, to books and magazines. Yet how often do we listen to what our instinct tells us about our baby? I see so many mums (myself included at times) being swayed from what they feel is right by over-bearing advice from albeit well-meaning by-standers. WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES? We know our babies better than anyone else – why don’t we trust ourselves more?

I personally have learnt first hand how important it is to trust your instincts and to listen to your own intuition, so I wanted to write this blog to encourage other mum’s (and dad’s) to listen to your own feelings about what is right for your child, rather than constantly seeking the advice (and maybe approval) of others. I’ve found that by going with the flow, listening to my own intuition and allowing Lilybelle freedom to develop her own routine, our days feel much more harmonious and flow relatively easily. That’s not to say we don’t have our moments! However I find the more relaxed I am around those moments, the easier they are to deal with. And on those days when nothing goes right, just repeat this - “All Is Well In My World!”

 I trusted my instincts that bubba was ready for solids, despite what many books and health profesionals say about waiting till a specific age. And boy does she love her din-dins!

A deeper sense of empathy

It’s been a while since I blogged, I know… I have found myself pre-occupied - glued to the TV watching the horror of the floods unfold, particularly the flash flooding in Toowoomba. Such tragedy – it’s like those horrible images shown on TV simply weren’t real. Those kinds of things don’t happen in Australia, do they?

Watching the News isn’t something I do regularly – in all honesty, I find it too upsetting… too many terrible things to take in that I become overwhelmed – violence, environmental tragedies, world disasters and dirty politicians. I don’t seem to have strong enough boundaries to take it all without being left feeling seriously wretched and depressed. Which is why watching the near 24-7 coverage of the recent floods is so out of character for me, yet I found myself watching in horror, unable to walk away.

I always thought I had a deep sense of compassion and empathy for others. I’ve now discovered that having a baby of my own has deepened this compassion 100 fold. Perhaps this is why I found it so difficult to turn away from the tragedy unfolding before me on TV. In particular, those stories of parents losing their children or partners – these devastating stories had me in tears as I tried to imagine the horror of their experience. The thought of losing a partner is truly gut-wrenching, but losing a child? There are no words to describe the overwhelming pain the mere thought of this induces. How do you ever recover from such a tragedy? It goes against nature and against every single instinct you have as a parent.

These recent events have reminded me how important it is to find joy in each day, no matter what I am doing and what challenges I may be experiencing. Life is so fleeting and precious and can be taken away in the blink of an eye, as nature has recently shown us. I remind myself daily to be grateful for the simple fact that my family is here with me and we are healthy and safe – they are the most important things in life.

I can’t imagine the full extent of the grief these poor families must be experiencing right now, however my heart goes out to each and every one of them. I dedicate this blog to those families… You are in my thoughts and prayers - I wish you much love through this difficult time and hope you may find some peace in knowing that all of Australia grieves with you.

Love Nicky xo

Who stole my sleep?

When did my life start to revolve around sleep? This concept of a good night’s sleep has become a point of fascination for me… endless conversations throughout my week revolve around the subject – how much did you get, how long did bub get, how dare my stinky partner sleep through! Ggrrrr. Seriously, how is it that the simple concept of sleeping your required 8 hours each day become such a hot topic? And as lusted-after as the latest Must Haves from the Chanel Cruise Collection? Oh that’s right, because a bub came along and sneakily disrupted your once peaceful shut-eye. Duh.

And let’s be honest, it’s hard not be to envious of those mums who have one of those ‘freak’ babies (in the nicest sense) who sleep through the moment they arrive home from hospital. Errgggh, so irritating to hear when you are sleep deprived and doing your best not to nod off in the middle of mums group. I believe it’s generally considered rude to fall asleep mid-conversation, however I have decided the one exemption to this rule is mums. As far as I’m concerned, they are allowed to do whatever the hell they want, so there!

Many a conversation with new mums begin with “so how is ‘insert relevant bubs name’ sleeping?”. Gone are the days when it began with “how was your hot date / night out on the town / shopping trip..." you get the picture. This repetitive discussion does start to make me feel a tad old and boring, despite the fact that it’s so relevant to me at present. Surely my life is more exciting than that? (Don’t answer that!)

The words “I’m so tired” accompanied by a jaw-breaking yawn are repeated so many times throughout my day that I’ve taken a stand – no more! From now on, no matter how tired I am, I will do my best to stop those words escaping my mouth and instead say “I feel fabulous” even if still accompanied by a gigantic yawn. I’m hoping that if I repeat it that many times, somehow my mind and body will eventually catch on and I really will feel fabulous.

Wish me luck…

Love Nicky xo

Ahhh, the peace of sleep...

Who the hell has time for hair?

That is what I frequently ask myself as I pull my bed hair back into a boring ponytail for the second or third day running! I totally understand the ‘mummy cut’, as I like to call it – the new mum short ‘do’ that so many mums go for. It makes complete sense – when time for grooming is a luxury, why wouldn’t you go for a short, no muss, no fuss hair do? Sometimes having 10 minutes to yourself throughout an entire day can be counted as a fabulous treat - who wants to spend it washing their hair when you could be gulping down your cold coffee??

If you’re a sadist and have long hair as I do, you must contend with an array of issues – bub vom’s in it (guaranteed on the day you wash it and just as you're walking out the door), she pulls it, tugs it, tries to put it in her mouth and gets her tiny baby fingers caught in it. Ouch, ouch owww!!! Not to mention it takes that much longer to wash, dry and style so you frequently end up with stinky (eww, sometimes literally!) ponytail hair, yet again! BORING!

This is a conversation I have had with so many new mums I’ve actually lost count! I keep saying to myself, “next time I go for a haircut, I’m getting it all cut off” but I’ve spent so long growing it out from my last short cut, that I feel defeated at the very thought of the chop! So I’m doing my best to push through the long-short hair conundrum and see how long I can last.

I was sharing this dilemma with a friend last night when she revealed her secret hair fix to me, whilst making me promise to keep her secret anonymous should I reveal it in the blog! Now to give you some background, this friend is a fairly new mum herself with another bub on the way and when I say she’s organised, I mean she is ORGANISED. Seriously, I am in awe of her organisational skills. So I know that any secret tips she has on making your day easier as a mum are gonna be good and I listen in earnest!

So she quietly reveals that she has discovered dry shampoo (like it's a guilty secret or something - I had to giggle). What’s that, you say? Dry shampoo. You simply spray it on and it soaks up any oiliness and extends your wash out for another day, maybe two if you’re lucky. Ok so dry shampoo is not a new concept in itself, but I’ve never thought to use it myself (as washing hair never used to be an issue. Duh!) so am now extremely excited at the thought of extending out the wash and style even for one more day. Particularly fabulous on those days where you find yourself in a rush from the moment you get up in the morning to the time you put cherub-pants (aka bub) to bed at night, which is always those days when you’re going to be out and about and need to look half decent. Yawn, I’m tired just thinking about it!

Such a little thing, yet so fricking fabulously helpful for new mum's that I had to share it here! So today I’m writing out my shopping list and guess what’s first on the list?

Thank you dear friend – you are a super mum!

Love Nicky xo 

PS - I've declined to post a photo as I have not yet bought brilliant product and therefore no one needs to see my stinky ponytail bed hair today :p mmwwaa

PPS Changed my mind, this was too good not to use. Is there a doggy-dry-shampoo equivalent??