A deeper sense of empathy

It’s been a while since I blogged, I know… I have found myself pre-occupied - glued to the TV watching the horror of the floods unfold, particularly the flash flooding in Toowoomba. Such tragedy – it’s like those horrible images shown on TV simply weren’t real. Those kinds of things don’t happen in Australia, do they?

Watching the News isn’t something I do regularly – in all honesty, I find it too upsetting… too many terrible things to take in that I become overwhelmed – violence, environmental tragedies, world disasters and dirty politicians. I don’t seem to have strong enough boundaries to take it all without being left feeling seriously wretched and depressed. Which is why watching the near 24-7 coverage of the recent floods is so out of character for me, yet I found myself watching in horror, unable to walk away.

I always thought I had a deep sense of compassion and empathy for others. I’ve now discovered that having a baby of my own has deepened this compassion 100 fold. Perhaps this is why I found it so difficult to turn away from the tragedy unfolding before me on TV. In particular, those stories of parents losing their children or partners – these devastating stories had me in tears as I tried to imagine the horror of their experience. The thought of losing a partner is truly gut-wrenching, but losing a child? There are no words to describe the overwhelming pain the mere thought of this induces. How do you ever recover from such a tragedy? It goes against nature and against every single instinct you have as a parent.

These recent events have reminded me how important it is to find joy in each day, no matter what I am doing and what challenges I may be experiencing. Life is so fleeting and precious and can be taken away in the blink of an eye, as nature has recently shown us. I remind myself daily to be grateful for the simple fact that my family is here with me and we are healthy and safe – they are the most important things in life.

I can’t imagine the full extent of the grief these poor families must be experiencing right now, however my heart goes out to each and every one of them. I dedicate this blog to those families… You are in my thoughts and prayers - I wish you much love through this difficult time and hope you may find some peace in knowing that all of Australia grieves with you.

Love Nicky xo

Who stole my sleep?

When did my life start to revolve around sleep? This concept of a good night’s sleep has become a point of fascination for me… endless conversations throughout my week revolve around the subject – how much did you get, how long did bub get, how dare my stinky partner sleep through! Ggrrrr. Seriously, how is it that the simple concept of sleeping your required 8 hours each day become such a hot topic? And as lusted-after as the latest Must Haves from the Chanel Cruise Collection? Oh that’s right, because a bub came along and sneakily disrupted your once peaceful shut-eye. Duh.

And let’s be honest, it’s hard not be to envious of those mums who have one of those ‘freak’ babies (in the nicest sense) who sleep through the moment they arrive home from hospital. Errgggh, so irritating to hear when you are sleep deprived and doing your best not to nod off in the middle of mums group. I believe it’s generally considered rude to fall asleep mid-conversation, however I have decided the one exemption to this rule is mums. As far as I’m concerned, they are allowed to do whatever the hell they want, so there!

Many a conversation with new mums begin with “so how is ‘insert relevant bubs name’ sleeping?”. Gone are the days when it began with “how was your hot date / night out on the town / shopping trip..." you get the picture. This repetitive discussion does start to make me feel a tad old and boring, despite the fact that it’s so relevant to me at present. Surely my life is more exciting than that? (Don’t answer that!)

The words “I’m so tired” accompanied by a jaw-breaking yawn are repeated so many times throughout my day that I’ve taken a stand – no more! From now on, no matter how tired I am, I will do my best to stop those words escaping my mouth and instead say “I feel fabulous” even if still accompanied by a gigantic yawn. I’m hoping that if I repeat it that many times, somehow my mind and body will eventually catch on and I really will feel fabulous.

Wish me luck…

Love Nicky xo

Ahhh, the peace of sleep...

Who the hell has time for hair?

That is what I frequently ask myself as I pull my bed hair back into a boring ponytail for the second or third day running! I totally understand the ‘mummy cut’, as I like to call it – the new mum short ‘do’ that so many mums go for. It makes complete sense – when time for grooming is a luxury, why wouldn’t you go for a short, no muss, no fuss hair do? Sometimes having 10 minutes to yourself throughout an entire day can be counted as a fabulous treat - who wants to spend it washing their hair when you could be gulping down your cold coffee??

If you’re a sadist and have long hair as I do, you must contend with an array of issues – bub vom’s in it (guaranteed on the day you wash it and just as you're walking out the door), she pulls it, tugs it, tries to put it in her mouth and gets her tiny baby fingers caught in it. Ouch, ouch owww!!! Not to mention it takes that much longer to wash, dry and style so you frequently end up with stinky (eww, sometimes literally!) ponytail hair, yet again! BORING!

This is a conversation I have had with so many new mums I’ve actually lost count! I keep saying to myself, “next time I go for a haircut, I’m getting it all cut off” but I’ve spent so long growing it out from my last short cut, that I feel defeated at the very thought of the chop! So I’m doing my best to push through the long-short hair conundrum and see how long I can last.

I was sharing this dilemma with a friend last night when she revealed her secret hair fix to me, whilst making me promise to keep her secret anonymous should I reveal it in the blog! Now to give you some background, this friend is a fairly new mum herself with another bub on the way and when I say she’s organised, I mean she is ORGANISED. Seriously, I am in awe of her organisational skills. So I know that any secret tips she has on making your day easier as a mum are gonna be good and I listen in earnest!

So she quietly reveals that she has discovered dry shampoo (like it's a guilty secret or something - I had to giggle). What’s that, you say? Dry shampoo. You simply spray it on and it soaks up any oiliness and extends your wash out for another day, maybe two if you’re lucky. Ok so dry shampoo is not a new concept in itself, but I’ve never thought to use it myself (as washing hair never used to be an issue. Duh!) so am now extremely excited at the thought of extending out the wash and style even for one more day. Particularly fabulous on those days where you find yourself in a rush from the moment you get up in the morning to the time you put cherub-pants (aka bub) to bed at night, which is always those days when you’re going to be out and about and need to look half decent. Yawn, I’m tired just thinking about it!

Such a little thing, yet so fricking fabulously helpful for new mum's that I had to share it here! So today I’m writing out my shopping list and guess what’s first on the list?

Thank you dear friend – you are a super mum!

Love Nicky xo 

PS - I've declined to post a photo as I have not yet bought brilliant product and therefore no one needs to see my stinky ponytail bed hair today :p mmwwaa

PPS Changed my mind, this was too good not to use. Is there a doggy-dry-shampoo equivalent??

A spruce up...

I've discovered that feeling post-natally frumpy is a common theme for new mums. Suddenly even the most super stylish fashionista is lacking the time and often motivation to make an effort. Some days, getting out of your pj's is a major achievement! So it's understandable that about 3 months after your bub is born, you have a bit of an identity crisis.

Speaking for myself, it was pretty much 3 months to the day that I looked in the mirror and wondered who on earth was staring back at me. Colour-faded ponytail hair, daggy Tee (with a distinct baby-vom aroma), shorts and thongs. Accessories? Ha, the only bags in sight were the ones under my eyes. Sad sad reality. Of course, I'd hardly left the house to go anywhere exciting... one didn't really need to dress up to the nines to take bubba and the dog round the block for our daily walk! But still, I felt like the old fashion-loving Nicky was no where to be seen.

So the first thing I did was book into the hairdresser and it was the best thing ever! Funny how the simple act of getting my hair done, which previously I'd thought nothing of, could become such a wonderful event that lifted my spirits to no end. I walked out feeling like a new woman! And looking much more like the old Nicky I knew.

Next, a beautiful new necklace. A very dear friend bought a lovely necklace for me from one of my favourite shops - it's a Mum, Baby, Home shop on the Sunny Coast of Queensland called Evolve and the ladies who own it have style down pat. This gorgeous necklace is an Elk creation (fabulous Aussie accessories label) and I love how such a simple little accessory can spruce up your look, no effort required.  Thank you lovely Ann for the beautiful & up-lifting gift.

These 2 simple things - a fresh hair-do and a pretty necklace - really made a difference to how I felt. It neednt be something new, just putting on your favourite dress, necklace, shoes - whatever it is - can totally change how you feel and look. Which can be the simple difference between a frumpy day and a fabulous day. So I've made the committment to myself that each day, when I get up in the morning, I will strive to put on something that makes me feel fabulous.

Love Nicky

Ps - ignore the bed hair, I had time to accessorise, not spruce the 'do'! lol...